A shadow is an outline of who we are, a raft draft, an empty shape. Most of the time people only see our shadows and not our whole personality. More often than not, people base their judgments of other people on a first impression basis.
We are all susceptible to obscurity, because sometimes we only see part of what is real.. or at least we choose to do so. I myself am guilty of this, and my blindness is now getting the best of me. But like in our own lives, a person is always more than just the shadow.
I am being hunted by the shadow that most people see, and they are stuck in a state of mind that is hard for me to bend. Even if i show a truer and more genuine part of who I am, most people just give me a startled look or throws a whiff at me, then reverts back to their shadowy impression of my character. Its hard, thinking of how other people can simply confine who you are in such a shallow and hazy impression.
I guess it does pay to create a good impression at first, but an impression should stay as it is - an impression.
Habang naglalakad sa campus, marami kang mga taong makakasalubong at makikita. Madalas, may mga tao kang bibigyan ng ngiti, ng pagtungo ng noo, o marahil ay isang malakas na “hoy, kamusta na?”
Sa dinami dami ng mga nabati mo, alam mo sa sarili mo na hindi mo naman talaga sila lahat kilala ng lubusan. Marahil sila ay naaalala mo lang bilang si groupmate na bibo sa LTS 1, si seat-mate na ayaw magpakopya sa Math 11, si official-class-clown sa PSY 1, si ate na mataray sa Econ 11, o si kuya na tahimik sa NASC 7. Maraming mga pagkakataon, ibat-ibang paraan, kilala sa mukha o sa pangalan, pero hindi kilala ang tunay na katauhan.
Marami ka talagang makakasalamuha sa iyong pamumuhay, at marami ka ding mabubuong mga grupo. Kabilang nadin sa mga grupong ito ang mga taong tinatawag nating mga kaibigan. Ang mga kaibigan ay ang grupong may mas malalim na pagkakakilala sa isa isa, at mga taong marami nading pinagsamahan. Sila ang mga madalas mong kasama, kadamay, at kakampi. Sabihin na natin na sila ang sandigan mo lalo na kapag malayo ka sa pamilya. Pero kahit gaano kalalim at katibay man ang pinagsamahan nyo, may mga pagkakataon parin kung saan mabibigla ka nalang sa mga bagay na di mo akalain ay may kinalaman pala sa mga kaibigan mo.
Ang gulo noh.. sa totoo lang, isa lang naman talaga ang gusto ko sabihin, at yun ay ang katotohanan na di mo talaga lubusang makikilala ang isang tao kahit ano pa man ang pinagsamahan nyo; hindi panahon, ang pakakaibigan o pagiging magkapamilya ang magiging basehan ng pagkakakilala mo sa isang tao. Lahat ay may itinatago, at lahat ay may natatanging secreto. Kahit ano man ang gawin mo, laging may hangganan ang ating pakakakilala sa iba, kaya pwede mo nadin sabihin na ang lahat ay isang aklat na pilit mo mang basahin ay hindi mo matatapos, pero ang bawat pagbuklat ng pahina ay magiiwan ng panibagong kaalaman. Ganun lang yun... ang pagbasa sa buhay.
NINE… Nine things that I want to do at the course of my existence:
1. *Learn how to dance – if not the street-jazz-head-standing type; then at least learn the more formal ones like Salsa, Tango, and whatsoever.
2. *Learn how to play an instrument – especially guitar (great frustration!). I would love to be able to play the guitar with ease, or any decent musical instrument for that matter.
3. Travel around the world – or if not the whole world, then most of it…Probably Rome, Spain, Italy, France, Switzerland, China, Singapore… But I should probably explore the Philippines first. I LOVE TRAVELLING!!
4. Publish a book, or be published in one – "Either write something worth reading or do something worth writing." – Benjamin Franklin
5. Do a photo exhibit – with great photographs of course. I would love to see myself actually being good –no- GREAT in taking pictures. I love doing it, but I have yet to find a maestro in me.
6. Go scuba diving – I have always fascinated the creatures of the deep. I’d like to be able to see more of them face to face!
7. Learn a different language (preferably French) – haha, cursing and dissing people in a language that they won’t understand would really make my day! Kidding!! I just want to learn to a new language to kinda’ add to my sophistication… haha…
8. Be a good christian (no strings attached) – ‘nuff said
9. Keep my family happy – of course! Happiness would not be worthwhile if I keep it all for-and-to myself.
*by learn, I mean, be actually good at it!
Tidbits!
Novus is nine in a different language... and it also means “new.”
So these are kinda the NEW things that I want to see in my life.
Or that’s just an excuse ‘coz I can’t think of anything for number 10.
I just checked my mail this morning and i recieved this:
One or more of your music playlists was found to be in violation of Multiply's terms of service regarding copyrights. We have deleted the following song:
OST If Only - Jennifer Love Hewitt - Love Will Show You Everything
We suggest you do the same with any other items that may contain copyrighted material. We reserve the right to cancel your account if we discover another violation.
Thank you for understanding.
Multiply customer service
- - -
and because of that, i had to delete my music playlist... hay...
A Letter for ALL FILIPINOS Gemma S Dimaculangan 02/18/2008 09:38 AM
To all Filipinos Everywhere:
I used to think that corruption and criminality in the Philippines were caused by poverty. But recent events tell me this isn't true. It is one thing to see people turn into drug addicts, prostitutes, thieves and murderers because of hunger and poverty, but what excuse do these rich, educated people have that could possibly explain their bizarre behavior? And to think I was always so relieved when petty snatchers got caught and locked away in jail because I never fully realized that the big time thieves were out there, making the laws and running our country. Can it get any worse than this?
Every night, I come home and am compelled to turn on my tv to watch the latest turn of events. I am mesmerized by these characters. They are not men. They are caricatures of men - too unreal to be believable and too bad to be real. To see these "honorable" crooks lambast each other, call each one names, look each other in the eye and accuse the other of committing the very same crimes that they themselves are guilty of, is so comical and apalling that I don't know whether to laugh or cry. It is entertainment at its worst!
I have never seen so many criminals roaming around unfettered and looking smug until now. These criminals wear suits and barongs, strut around with the confidence of the rich and famous, inspire fear and awe from the very citizens who voted them to power, bear titles like "Honorable", "Senator", "Justice", "General" and worse, "President". Ironically, these lawless individuals practice law, make our laws, enforce the law. And we wonder why our policemen act the way they do! These are their leaders, and the leaders of this nation “ Robin Hoodlum and his band of moneymen. Their motto? "Rob the poor, moderate the greed of the rich."
It makes me wonder where on earth these people came from, and what kind of upbringing they had to make them act the way they do for all the world to see. It makes me wonder what kind of schools they went to, what kind of teachers they had, what kind of environment would produce such creatures who can lie, cheat and steal from an already indebted country and from the impoverished people they had vowed to serve. It makes me wonder what their children and grandchildren think of them, and if they are breeding a whole new generation of improved Filipino crooks and liars with maybe a tad more style but equally negligible conscience. Heaven forbid!
I am an ordinary citizen and taxpayer. I am blessed to have a job that pays for my needs and those of my family's, even though 30% of my earnings go to the nation's coffers. Just like others in my lot, I have complained time and again because our government could not provide enough of the basic services that I expect and deserve. Rutty roads, poor educational system, poor social services, poor health services, poor everything. But I have always thought that was what all third world countries were all about, and my complaints never amounted to anything more.
And then this. Scandalous government deals. Plundering presidents pointing fingers. Senators associated with crooks. Congressmen who accept bribes. Big time lawyers on the side of injustice. De Venecia ratting on his boss only after his interminable term has ended, Enrile inquiring about someone's morality! The already filthy rich Abalos and Arroyo wanting more money than they or their great grandchildren could ever spend in a lifetime. Joker making a joke of his own "pag bad ka, lagot ka!" slogan. Defensor rendered defenseless. Gen. Razon involved in kidnapping. Security men providing anything but a sense of security. And it's all about money, money, money that the average Juan de la Cruz could not even imagine in his dreams. Is it any wonder why our few remaining decent and hardworking citizens are leaving to go work in other countries?
And worst of all, we are once again saddled with a power-hungry president whose addiction has her clinging on to it like barnacle on a rusty ship. "Love (of power) is blind" takes a whole new meaning when PGMA time and again turns a blind eye on her husband's financial deals. And still blinded with all that is happening, she opts to traipse around the world with her cohorts in tow while her country is in shambles.
They say the few stupid ones like me who remain in the Philippines are no longer capable of showing disgust. I don't agree. Many like me feel anger at the brazenness of men we call our leaders, embarrassment to share the same nationality with them, frustration for our nation and helplessness at my own ineffectuality. It is not that I won't make a stand. It is just that I am afraid my actions would only be futile. After all, these monsters are capable of anything. They can hurt me and my family. They already have, though I may not yet feel it.
But I am writing this because I need to do something concrete. I need to let others know that ordinary citizens like me do not remain lukewarm to issues that would later affect me and my children. I want to make it known that there are also Filipinos who dream of something better for the Philippines. I want them to know that my country is not filled with scalawags and crooks in every corner, and that there are citizens left who believe in decency, fairness, a right to speak, a right to voice out ideas, a right to tell the people we have trusted to lead us that they have abused their power and that it is time for them to step down. I refuse to let this country go to hell because it is the only country I call mine and it is my responsibility to make sure I have done what I could for it.
Those of us who do not have the wealth, power or position it needs to battle the evil crime lords in the government can summon the power of good. We can pray. We can do this with our families every night. We can offer petitions every time we celebrate mass. We can ask others to pray, too, including relatives and friends here and overseas. And we can offer sacrifices along with our petitions, just so we get the message to Him of our desperation in ridding our nation of these vermin. After all, they cannot be more powerful than God!
I implore mothers out there to raise your children the best way you can. Do not smother, pamper, or lavish them with too much of the material comforts of life even if you can well afford them. Teach them that there are more important things in this world. I beg all fathers to spend time with their children, to teach them the virtues of hard work, honesty, fair play, sharing, dignity and compassion; “ right from the sandbox till they are old enough to go on their own. Not just in your homes, but at work, in school, everywhere you go. Be good role models. Be shining examples for your children so they will learn to be responsible adults who will carry and pass on your family name with pride and honor.
I call on educators and teachers, “ we always underestimate the power of your influence on the minds of our youth. Encourage them to be aware of what is happening in their surroundings. Instill in them a love of their country, inculcate in them the value of perseverance in order to gain real, worthwhile knowledge, help us mold our children into honorable men and women. Encourage our graduates, our best and brightest, to do what they can to lift this country from the mire our traditional politicians have sunk us into. The youth is our future “and it would be largely because of you, our educators, that we will be able to repopulate the seats of power with good leaders, presidents, senators, congressmen, justices, lawmakers, law enforcers and lawful citizens.
I ask all students, young people and young professionals everywhere to look around and get involved in what is happening. Do not let your youth be an excuse for failure to concern yourselves with the harsh realities you see. But neither let this make you cynical, because we need your idealism and fresh perspective just as you need the wisdom of your elders. YOUR COUNTRY NEEDS YOU! Let your voices be heard. Do what you can for this land that gave you your ancestors and your heritage. Use technology and all available resources at hand to spread good. Text meaningful messages to awaken social conscience. Try your best to fight moral decay because I promise you will not regret it when you become parents yourselves. You will look back at your past misdeeds and pray that your children will do better than you did.
Remember that there are a few handful who are capable of running this country. You can join their ranks and make their numbers greater. We are tired of the old trapos. We need brave idealistic leaders who will think of the greater good before anything else. I voted for Atty. Martin Bautista and his team and I sure hope they will run again. Do your utmost to excel in your chosen field. Be good lawyers, civil servants, accountants, computer techs, engineers, doctors, military men so that when you are called to serve in government, you will have credibility and a record that can speak for itself.
For love of this country, for the future of our children, for the many who have sacrificed and died to uphold our rights and ideals, I urge you to do what you can. As ordinary citizens, we can do much more for the Philippines than sit around and let crooks lead us to perdition. We owe ourselves this. And we owe our country even more.
Mood: Reflective Song: Power of your love (Hillsong)
God’s love. Many people say that they believe in God. Many people say that they give praise to God. Many people say that they love God. But stop for a while and take a second look…
How can you say that you know God? How can you say that you give glory to God? And most of all, how can you say that you love God?
A Familiar scenario: If you are in love and are in a relationship with someone, you make it a point that you know every single detail about you partner: Likes and dislikes, favorites, important dates, and many others. You try your best to make your other half happy by doing things you know they will appreciate and things that would mean a lot to them. In your own little way you try to make every single day special; a simple text, a surprise dinner, a secret note, a small gift, a freshly picked flower, the list just goes on and on. In a relationship, you think of our partner almost every minute of everyday. You always show them how much you miss them and constantly say how much you love them. You are verbal, expressive, and sometimes even too public with your love.
That’s how a typical love story goes. That’s how most love stories between human beings happen. We exert effort on that kind love because it is important to us. We want to make it as good as possible, because we like the feeling of being loved. In short, we all seek love, and do whatever it takes to keep it.
But what about God’s love? The love that is known to be the greatest kind of love in this world? The love that is freely given to everyone unconditionally? The love the would make sense of everything in this world? The love that would fill all the missing pieces in our live and make it whole?
How much effort have we given for this kind of love? His Love?
How often do we go out on dates with Him every Sunday in church?
How often do we text him by means of a short prayer every night?
How many moments a day do we remember Him, greet Him, tell Him stories, and seek comfort from Him?
How many times have we told Him how much He means to us; and what have we done to make him feel as such?
Take a second look at yourself, check and see if YOU really are in a relationship with God. Check and see if you are saying the truth every time you say “I Love God.”
"Filipinos willingly express opinion but not their conviction. They find satisfaction of their civic duty by expressing opinion rather than acting and speaking with conviction. Opinion is but an organized collection of thoughts and emotions. Opinion is relative to time or something for the moment.
Conviction involves wisdom, passion, commitment, and action not just for ourselves but for the greater or collective good. Speaking out is merely a consequence or as a result of our efforts and commitment to a cause, a standard or a way of life." -Cito Beltran
You’re in my arms And all the world is calm The music playing on for only two So close together And when I’m with you So close to feeling alive
A life goes by Romantic dreams will stop So I bid mine goodbye and never knew So close was waiting, waiting here with you And now forever I know All that I wanted to hold you So close
So close to reaching that famous happy end Almost believing this was not pretend And now you’re beside me and look how far we’ve come So far we are so close
How could I face the faceless days If I should lose you now? We’re so close To reaching that famous happy end And almost believing this was not pretend Let’s go on dreaming for we know we are So close So close And still so far
This phrase has long been used and reused that it is already part of the many clichés of life. Yes, it’s true that humans by nature are social animals, and we always want to be in the company of others. But being in the company of others is different from being “one” of the others.
We all have our own lives to live.
There comes a time in your life where you should think outside the box and reflect for yourself; leave the social circle and stand on your own. If we always limit ourselves to what we see from others, we won’t reach our full potential.
Being alone is scary, but being independent has its own rewards.
Home sickness is when you accidentally fall asleep while studying, then you dream about going back to the Philippines; you went to eat at a turo-turo store,and then ride a tricycle home... and just when you were about to get home… you wake up. You feel so sad and depressed that you just had to write it all down.
*random thoughts for the drifting mind. this is a work in progress*
Living a life without taking risks is like staying in a room with locked doors and railed windows. FEAR.
Everyday we face life with fear of rejection and of losing. Because of this fear, people tend to stay in their comfort zones, and this keeps them stagnant. This fear inhibits their capabilities to grow as persons.
People often see me as an achiever, as someone who excels in every field he chooses. To be honest, I’m not a genuine achiever. I am a person who plays it safe and only bets his cards when he knows that he has an 80% chance of winning. I am a person who is afraid to lose; a person who seldom takes risks.
Now, it might not sound that bad, I mean, there’s nothing wrong in playing it safe and doing good in your chosen field. But the thing is, limiting yourself to the things you already know makes you ignorant of the many other realities of life.
I have had the chance to be part of a student exchange program in our school. Before my studies abroad started, I was confident enough that I’d do well, and that I’m already well equipped to live independently amongst a people of different race and culture. But I was wrong. When I got there, I always found myself in situations wherein I didn’t know what to do. I was afraid to ask questions ‘coz I didn’t want to look dumb. I didn’t go out by myself that much ‘coz I was afraid of being ridiculed by those around me.I never showed my true self, ‘coz I was afraid of being rejected. I was never as comfortable with my self than when I was in my home school, my “comfort zone.”
Then, my friend kept telling me about how I should forget the things that people might say and think. That I shouldn’t worry too much about losing or being rejected. That I should go out, face the world and live it to the fullest. It was at this time that it dawned on me that I still had a lot to learn. Despite all my achievements, awards, and recognitions, I am still a person who has a lot to learn from this world; A person who needs to be humble enough to learn and be brave enough to face the consequences.
I thought that being a winner in my life would make me do good in life itself. But I failed to see the bigger world in front of me; and when I was finally in that world, I stumbled and fell. I got wounded and hurt. I had to learn things the hard way, but the good thing is, I did (learn).
So don’t get stuck on life, don’t miss out of the things that you fail to see or choose not to see. Be bold! Explore! Experience! Live life!
I've been in Michigan for almost a week now. A lot has happened, and there had been numerous blog ideas in my mind. I wanted to tell the world so much! I wanted to write, to express, I wanted to share. But it seems that the series of events just wouldn't allow me go on with my blogging-capade just yet...
For now, I should settle for saying that there’s more to come. That’s for sure. But this is as far I can go for now, so until the next chapter unfolds, I’ll just go along my way filling each page before it gets published for the world to see.
One day I decided to tour around ThoughtCity, as I was walking along Yesterday Street, I looked at the many billboard of memories. It was fun, amusing, and simply nostalgic-euphoric even.
I roamed around, treasuring every second of the trip, then I turned to Past Avenue -and then, a halt. I stopped at this one billboard. It was a bit abstract, but I knew what it was about. It was torn and nearly dilapidated, but I knew how it originally was. I can still picture it clearly. Clear enough for me to feel, to know, to remember… but not to understand.
This was one peculiar billboard. I never intended of coming across it. But here I was, in front of it, dwelling on its ruined façade. The mere sight of the billboard gave me a bedlam of emotions. It reminded me of heaven and hell; of warmth and coldness; of life and death; of beginning and end. It was -no word-. No wonder, the billboard was in the corner of Happy and Agony Street.
Many other billboards were atop the buildings in Agony Street. It was a difficult trail to trek. The street was dark and eerie. The streets were narrow and dead silent. It was, scary. The dimly lit billboards were the only source of light, they were my only guide. But the sight of them didn’t make the trip any easier. Billboard of memories in Agony Street were the WORST billboards in the city!
I had to cross. It was the only way for me to get to the city of Enlightenment. But this last stretch was simply exhausting. The billboards kept me from moving on. I felt like a masochists who dwelled in the pain of the past. Damn it, it was hard.
Every sight, every corner, every view seemed like a whiplash. I wished for it to be a gunshot so at least my journey would have ended at that. But no, I had to endure the pain. Every fucking pain of every fucking billboard along this fucking Agony Avenue. I was spinning in dismay. My mind was hovering. I was LOST. DARKNESS.
The next thing I knew, I was back in my loft. Everything was back to ‘normal’. But the things that happened that day remained inside of me. It was still fresh. The sorrow that dwelled within me was still intact. Is it over? I don’t know. All I know is that tomorrow, there would yet be another billboard to see.
Life is a one way street. Sure, there are a lot of roads to choose from, but once you make a choice, you can never go back. Well, maybe you can, but it’s not going to be that easy.
Why am I saying this? Wala lang. It’s just that I miss some aspects of the old me. Having had a lot of free time to reflect and to stare into the abyss of nothingness, I’ve come to realize that things have changed a lot more than I thought so.
Old habits are no more than a memory. Old favorites are now mediocrity. Ewan. I just miss a lot of things. Yeah, that’s it… I miss a lot from the past.
Things are just not how they used to be. I’m no longer the same person that I was before, and the people around me have changed too. There’s just too much change! Everything is moving so fast, and I don’t know if I could keep up.
Yeah sure, things might have been doing well for me, but still, it wouldn’t hurt if I could relive yesterday again. Just one more time.
-a phrase, expression, or idea that has been overused to the point of losing its intended force or novelty, especially when at some time it was considered distinctively forceful or novel. (wikipedia)
Ever wonder why clichés are always used, or why it came to the point of being overused?
Could it be because clichés speak of the many truths and realities of life?
Could it be bacause clichés are the general statements that confine life?
Could it be because clichés are the best expression of life by the human language?
